My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
