I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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