just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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