Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
