I hate your face
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
