just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
