I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
