she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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