oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
