That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
organizing the empties. That sober.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
