Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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