Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
