why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
