Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
