Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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