She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize