Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
