I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
