the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
