How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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