And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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