Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
