Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
