That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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