She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
