somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize