Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
