so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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