they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
