i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
