i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
