why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
