Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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