God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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