white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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