My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am midnight drunk by noon
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
