Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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