i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
