I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
