woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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