No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
