is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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