I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
