So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
