Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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