if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
