Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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