I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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