R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
