i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
