God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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