is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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