Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I looked at my own cervix.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
