It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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