dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
