My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
