Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
