my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
