so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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